football fever

I have been dreading world-cup mania for weeks, and I am not alone. For starters, at a guess I'd say about half of the British population either dislike or are not that bothered by the fact that television viewing will be plagued by balls flying across the screen and lager adverts for the next few months. To paraphrase the voice of reason himself David Mitchell, it's just hours and hours of dizzying, mind-numbing, endless football, each hour more 'climactic' than the last.

Alright, this fantastic parody is a commentary on TV's endless coverage of football rather than the four-yearly world cup. I have to admit that world cup fever 2010 is infectious and exciting, especially because this is the first time I've been in the UK for it. For me, WC 2010 is all about the office sweepstakes (I'm Slovenia, and will get £14 if I win!!!???!!?!!? Gotta keep an eye on that!), cramming into pubs and bars whenever an England game is on (two friends and I squished into The Bear on Lewes Road for the fist Engerlaand game - England v U.S.A - on Saturday), the camraderie (I hate that word), the drone of of vuvuzelas (which may potentially be banned in South Africa http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8737455.stm - bad times!), English flag face paint (I <3 facepaint!) etc. etc. I almost blame myself for not really getting into 'the beautiful game', it's probably my ignorance - when I watch football all I see is a pretty straightforward ball-going-back-and-forth and people tumbling over each other. I go for the atmosphere rather than admiration of technical skill.

Previously living in Brussels meant that a handful of expat teens and I used to have to find English-y pubs in the town centre in order to get the magic combo of exciting pub-atmosphere and an English game. The choice always turned out to be, ironically, a toss-up between a couple Irish-themed pubs. Nevertheless, the atmosphere in those pubs was exciting and pretty amicable, because everyone in the pub was generally a mix of different nationalities, despite being from the 'English Section' of a European school - so although we were all supporting England, the fact that none of us bar one or two were actually 100% English made the experience somewhat more civilised.

I don't really mind about the hours of television time which will be dedicated to football fever (as long as, I'm thoroughly ashamed to say, Big Brother remains untouched - I've been sucked into it again and need my daily fix. I know it's embarrassing). But I do mind the attitude of a bunch of football fans.

Yes, ok, football brings people together - I agree with that, in my case it's cool as long as you're English. I thought it wouldn't be that bad in Brighton, it being a totally liberal lefty trendy green multicultural place and all that jazz. I was wrong. I have nothing wrong with competition whatsoever, and pride, and going for your own country, and stuff. I have to say, I was less than impressed by the attitude of English football fans last Saturday. Being British and American myself, I was pretty much going for England but also wouldn't have minded if U.S.A won either (funnily enough, the score turned out to be 1-1). The people in The Bear were pretty pissed, both angry and wasted, acting like they caught some kind of airborne football fever. The wasted bit it fine as long as being enraged doesn't come with it, because that really sours the atmosphere. The game in The Bear started off fine but gradually deteriorated when Robert Green let the ball literally slip through his fingers (I feel sorry for him, it was cringeworthy). That's when massive abuse started, waves and waves of 'fucking yankee cheating wankers' (I didn't see any cheating at all) and general rowdiness, shoving, bitching and whingeing by the Brits. Not graceous at all. Pretty horrible to watch - you got the feeling that if you happened to be rooting for the Americans you would have been mauled by red sweaty beer-bellied England supporters, both male and female. A friend of mine went to watch the football in a pub in Essex - don't get me started on what they were shouting.

This is what I've been dreading. Dickheads, basically. The attitude of a large amount of football supporters is not cool (not specifically Brits, I'm sure it spans across the globe). Football supporters are called 'yobs' for a reason, warnings about the British pilgrimage to South Africa have been issued for a reason as well. My experience on Saturday just strenghtened that arguably harsh and sweeping claim. From what I've experienced, there's no dignity or grace in a bunch of supporters. If you lose, you'll get plastered and hurl abuse at an HD screen. If you win, you'll get plastered and hurl. England neither won nor lost and everyone was mad, the whole thing was just generally uncomfortable and unfriendly. I will most probably be going to more pubs when the England games come about again, and I hope the atmosphere will be better than Saturday's. I hope I'm not disappointed.

(n.b. see below for the result of a combination of patriotic facepaint, too many pitchers of beer and a disappointing game)

Images: own